all i ever wanted.

While the rest of the country is lamenting about a snow storm my Floridian blood can't quite comprehend the magnitude of, we're still being met with warm temperatures and the need to shield your eyes from unrelenting sun. The heat has felt both treacherous and refreshing against my skin on the walks Ethan and I have been taking outside, bits of fresh air mixed up with the scent of hot asphalt. There's something about being indoors I've decided I'd rather avoid these past days, something about the nagging of a suitcase taunting me with it's inability to pack itself, something about groceries and coolers and toys and laundry and just let me go outside, please, for an hour. Maybe two. Maybe just until it's time to put dinner on the table and get Ethan to sleep.

This house has left me bridled with feelings of anxiety, my own inability to get things done, my to-do list running too long until my own apathy cuts it off. I've spent the better half of today desperately craving a second latte and trying to fight back those overwhelmed tears while trying to figure out the logistics of everything. These moments happen where it all adds up. Where the laundry pile stops becoming funny and becomes my nemesis. Where each late night my husband's job makes him take seems to purposefully come at always the wrong time. Where oh my gosh, can I just have a vacation, please becomes my battle cry -- though as everyone with children knows, preparing and packing for a vacation hardly feels like a reprieve from life's stress.

But I'm trying. Trying to forget the fact the refrigerator is leaking again or that I spilled scalding water on my forearm or that this floor is so overdue for a vacuum but all I can muster the ability to do is flip through old CD's and upload music even I forgot existed. At least for me, productivity can be so put off by stress, by my daunting to do-list, by the fact I'm suddenly responsible for an entire family's needs and, strike one, I forgot to take Ethan in for a haircut.

But it's three or so hours until our vacation kicks in and I long for the lull of the highway under the tires and the air of a place that isn't quite as warm, a few days unplugged and away from everything but my family, good friends we never get to see quite enough and the thoughts about all that needs to be done at home. I have lollygagged through naptime by burning Ethan an ultimate Hanson-filled roadtrip mix for the car while the laundry pile sits and I'm fairly certain our suitcase is only 85% packed. I can -- and will -- own it until it's all just a distant thought, somewhere my vacation mind cannot touch.

blogging for good, blogging for breathing.

Things have been slightly quiet over here on this blog, not for any reason in particular aside from the general chaos of everyday life. My words and thoughts have been at a little bit of a standstill, a little preoccupied. I can explain.

Last year, my dear friend Katie and I created and participated in the 2012 Blogathon. This means that we both blogged once every thirty minutes for 24 hours straight to raise funds for our respective charities. What we didn't anticipate would be that our means to back causes near and dear to us would turn into something bigger, or all of the amazing prizes that our sponsors would donate to be raffled off to the donors. (You see, much like a walkathon, swimathon, marathon, etc. requires donations to reach fundraising goals, the Blogathon does the same -- for every $5 someone donates to us, they're eligible to win some pretty sweet prizes!)

This year, we revamped our Blogathon blogging platforms and are bringing the Blogathon back for another round in 2013. All of my creative energy has been poured into this blogging platform and the creation of the Blogathon 2013. The event doesn't kick off until August, but I'm excited to announce that already so many fabulous sponsors have jumped on board to donate prizes. Enter the brand-new A is for Albuterol:

If you've been reading this little blog of mine for long enough, you're familiar with the fact that Ethan suffers from his fair share of respiratory issues.

His nebulizer is our morning ritual and our before night-night pit stop -- when he's well. I've had my fair share of resentment, sadness and frustration over it all but, really, I learned how truly lucky we were to have this in-home nebulizer for Ethan. Last year, I learned about a worldwide medical relief organization called Global Links who happen to fund a nebulizer campaign. They provide those in need with nebulizers -- especially in areas where asthma is on the rise -- so that no mother has to carry their child for miles, for days, listening to them gasp for air and hoping that they're able to find a shared community nebulizer at all, let alone in time. There is nothing more haunting to me than that thought, listening helplessly as my child gasps for air and not being able to do anything about it. This year, I will once again be blogging for Global Links and their nebulizer campaign to ensure that no child has to die due to their inability to breathe.

The response that I've received last year has been inspiring and given me the push I need to make this year bigger and better. One of the new things available this year at A is for Albuterol would be free ad space for bloggers. As a blogger myself, I realize how much push and influence bloggers can have in spreading the word. Since my Blogathon blog is shared and viewed by so many around the world, especially as the Blogathon grows closer, I thought offering a new feature titled Bloggers Who Have Our Back would be a way to give back. That means for every blogger who shares our A is for Albuterol button on their blog, they're more than welcome to come link their blog's button on our main page. Sweet deal, and even sweeter in the name of charity. If you're a blogger, check out how!

Other than that, please excuse the dust around here for a while as I collect myself, collect my thoughts and try to refocus my energy (and prepare for an upcoming vacation!). In the mean time, feel free to pop over to A is for Albuterol and lend your support as we prepare for an August 3rd, 2013 kick-off! Ethan and I are eternally grateful for your support!

ethan's eats

Ethan's still been eating but, as has been occurring, I've been a little delinquent in posting my Ethan's Eats features. Sometime over the past couple of months, lunchtime has turned into a chaotic mess of little hands wanting to help, toddler impatience and a mommy who just can't remember to snap photos before serving lunch to my hungry little boy. I'm working on it! In the meantime, here's an (albeit a bit delayed) installment in Ethan's Eats!

Quinoa & Lentil Salad

This one is a fairly simple dish that doesn't take much time to prepare. It's simply quinoa, lentils and organic steamed zucchini tossed with a little bit of black pepper, garlic and lemon juice and topped with cheese. I love making quinoa in big batches because it's perfect to turn into nuggets later on throughout the week!

Nut Butter & Banana Bagel

Are you familiar with Wild Squirrel Nut Butter? I picked up some of the single-use packets at the health food store the last time I was there and they've been a big hit with Ethan. He loves the chocolate sunflower seed almond butter which I added to toasted bagel half and topped with banana slices. I served this alongside pomegranate arils which he's just crazy about lately.

Healthy Snack Bars

These chewy, healthy snack bars were a huge hit. They have a soft and chewy consistency, almost cookie-like. A batch churns out a whole lot of them, which are perfect for storing and grabbing healthy snacks on the go. These were our go-to snacks the past couple of weeks. Here's what you need: 2 carrots, 1 small yellow squash, 1 apple (peeled), 2 cups of oats, 1/4c melted coconut oil, 2 eggs, 1/2c honey, 1 tablespoon flax seed, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/8 teaspoon allspice, 1 teaspoon wheat germ. To make these, grate (I used a handgrater) or puree your carrots and squash in a bowl. Hand grate or food process about half of the apple and chop the other half into tiny, bite sized pieces and add to the bowl with the carrot and squash. Add the rest of the ingredients to the bowl and combine until sticky. Press batter into an 8x8 lightly greased baking dish. Bake at an oven preheated to 375 degrees for 35 minutes.

Southwest Style Stuffed Mushrooms

Ethan loves these organic button mushrooms as they make a pretty great finger food for little ones. You'll need: one ripe Roma tomato, an avocado, wheat germ, black beans, cumin, chili powder and your little one's favorite cheese (we used provolone). For these, twist the stem off of your mushrooms, brush the caps with organic olive oil and place in a glass baking dish. In a mixing bowl, combine 1/2 can blackbeans with 1/4 teaspoon wheat germ, 1/4 teaspoon cumin and 1/8 teaspoon chili powder. Smash up some avocado and stir it into the black bean mixture. Press mixture into mushroom caps and bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes. Remove from oven and top each mushroom with tiny pieces of Roma tomato. Top with cheese and place back in oven for 5-7 minutes, or until cheese is melted.

Homemade Corn Tortilla Chips

I first saw these on Wannabe Green and loved the idea! These were so simple to make and Ethan loved helping to make them. You use your favorite corn tortillas and slice them into "chip" shape using a pizza cutter. We brushed both sides of the chip very lightly with organic olive oil (Ethan loved "painting" the chips). We topped ours with some black pepper and then baked them at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Ethan loved dipping these in hummus as an afternoon snack or with his lunches throughout the week!

Yogurt Parfaits

Yogurt pairfaits have been a common theme for breakfasts and lunches over here the past couple of weeks. Actually, there was one night last week when Ethan also had one for dinner! We make ours using Stonyfield Organic's YoBaby Simply Plain yogurt. One little yogurt container is just the perfect amount for a toddler-sized parfait! Pictured are parfaits made up of banana, apple and pomegranate arils (top) and plum, pomegranate arils and blueberries -- Ethan's favorites. We also made a citrus style parfait earlier in the week using orange slices and pineapple. The possibilities are endless and Ethan loves helping to make these!

tot school - 19 months

This past week was white week in tot school, and it was a great week. My enthusiasm probably comes from the fact that our respective bouts with strep both began to lighten up early in the week but, regardless, it was a great week!

THIS WEEK IN TOT SCHOOL:

From Top To Bottom:
1. Wool On The Sheep - I printed a picture of a sheep and was supposed to add pre-printed circles to it but it slipped my mind. Instead, I drew them on. I'm not an artist -- to put it mildly. Regardless, the point of this activity was for Ethan to place cotton balls inside the circles drawn on the sheep, Ethan was quickly obsessed with the word "wool." He'd repeat "wool" each time he placed a cottonball inside the circle. He enjoyed this activity way more than I thought he would, and it was typically the first tot tray he'd gravitate towards when we walked into the room. Towards the end of the week, he decided he much more enjoyed dumping the entire bowl of cottonballs onto the sheep and giving it lots of wool.
2. White Sensory Bin - The white sensory bin wasn't one of Ethan's favorites this week which was surprising because the sensory bins typically are up there. I think he just really liked some of the other tot trays and didn't have too much time to devote to this one. It was filled with random white odds and ends I was able to find around the house, including some doorknob covers, a paper airplane, a measuring cup, cottonballs, feathers, a stand mixer attachment and other silly things.
3. Snow Blowing & Sweeping - I had attached some pretty white snowflakes onto this tray and covered them with some mashed potato flakes. (They weren't as white as I'd have liked, but I guess they did the trick.) I included a straw for Ethan to blow the "snow" away to uncover the snowflakes and a little broom for him to sweep the "snow" away to find the snowflakes underneath. He loved this (incredibly messy) tot tray!
4. White Magnet Board - The magnet board was another usually top favorite that wasn't at the top this week. He enjoyed pointing out the animals more than anything.
5. Object To Photo Matching - We did this last week for the first time and Ethan loved it! He still very much enjoyed it, but there were other trays that captured his attention more.
6. Baked Cotton Ball Smashing - I decided against making these colored on the outside in fear it'd take away from the focus being on the white center, but Ethan was still confused if they were yellow or brown so I probably should have definitively colored them. Regardless, he adored his activity this week! (This is the recipe I used for the baked cotton balls!) I couldn't find anything more suitable than the meat mallet (is that the correct term? Probably not!) in the kitchen cabinet, so we went with that. Ethan had a blast smashing them open and finding the white fluffy center. He was pretty focused on smashing them with the mallet for the first few days but then he started getting creative, by seeing if he could stand on them to crack them, toss them to crack them or trying to smash them under other toys. This was a fun one!

ARTS & CRAFTS

Ethan really enjoyed playing with ice last week so I did the same this week. We made white "snow" by adding heaping spoonfuls of salt to a small amount of water in an ice cube tray. They were perfectly chilly but didn't melt and Ethan was able to build little "igloos" with the blocks as well.

We also made a few paintings with Moon Paint (half shaving cream, half glue mixed with some white glitter) and had Ethan had a blast feeling how velvety they were once they dried!

Another hit was adding white feathers to a bird!

READING LOG: We've still barely made a dent in our huge bag of books from the library. All week, Ethan has solely wanted to read his Llama Llama books, along with the Curious George books we brought home from the library last time.

LINKING UP WITH:

come fire, come water, come karma; we're all in transition

This past Friday, I turned 27. My husband took the day off of work and we celebrated by taking Ethan to his My Gym class together, followed by a trip to the mall for Ethan's favorite gnocchi alfredo lunch. Our mall recently converted their food court to what they call "The Café's at Boca" and included was the addition of an Italian restaurant that has a red Fiat parked behind the counter. Ethan recognizes the very parking lot of the mall as the place that holds this Fiat and all the gnocchi his belly can muster and his sheer delight as we enter through the mall doors, tempted by the thrill of gnocchi and bread with fresh Parmesan cheese is hilarious. When his favorite employee is working and honks the horn of the Fiat for him, well, it might as well be Christmas. Chants of "car. CAR!" can be heard throughout the day, alfredo sauce lodged behind Ethan's ears, under his fingernails, in the crevices of his nose. As if I'd rather spend 27 any other way than covered in sauce and tossing pennies into the fountain in the center of the mall with a little boy who manages to find the magic in everything.

27 has been a welcomed year. I stopped fearing the advancement of my age once Ethan was here and everyday got a little newer, a little less scary, a little more filled with actual purpose and productivity. I don't wish to rush the days, not even the bad ones or the sick ones, but I will welcome thirty when it does arrive. As a girl who is married to the same boy she's been with since 15, there hasn't truly been a time when I felt particularly saturated in youth or, at the very least, my age.

It was a particularly busy weekend of birthday celebrations, filled with a best friend spa day (or, rather, haircuts we were both desperately overdue for), my sister's first dance showcase of the season, a celebratory birthday dinner at the restaurant that used to be my home away from home as I closed out my teenage years. All of those nights spent under those same lights, at those same tables, as the sky faded to black, talking about life and feelings and the scary but oddly thrilling promise of future over the open mic night performers. As I prepare to close out my 20's, it only felt appropriate to spend a dinner there, a restaurant that will always be my happy place. Dinner is a little earlier these days and there isn't ample time to dredge sugar sticks in overtly strong lattes and it's hard to believe there was once a time I thought nothing to be better than that -- but there is. 27 has brought me contentment. I welcome it, all of it, the feeling of peace and complacency that covers me like a blanket.

We closed out my birthday weekend with a meandering trip around the farmer's market this morning, not needing anything more than the fresh air and the temperatures in the low 70's that are about to leave as quickly as they appeared. If life is anything, it is good. It is so very good.