the second-first day

Today was Ethan's second first day of school. He did a brief two week stint last fall at a school that I carefully selected yet became very obvious (very quickly) that it was a horrible fit for him in actuality. From the moment I first dropped him off at his last school, I sat with tears in my eyes and a pit in my stomach until the moment I could retrieve him. He would return home rattled with tales of yelling and classroom free-for-alls that made my stomach drop (my best friend took my anxiety down a notch by telling me to imagine Ethan as Jim from The Office, looking into the camera while these antics happened around him). I did not have the same dread when we toured this new school, which happens to be a smaller Montessori even closer to our home.

Selfishly, I am not ready to say goodbye to my at-home time with Ethan. I have spent the past five years growing accustomed to ten a.m. park playdates or midweek zoo trips. Five years is a long time to suddenly have to pull away from the only way of life you truly know. Of course, time changes things and children grow older (yes, I'm singing Landslide in my head, too). Ethan has been bored at our ten a.m. park playdates as the only options for playmates are two year olds who are not yet enrolled in school. He wanted so badly to be part of a classroom and a school environment again and I just keep telling myself that my plan was always to follow his lead. When he was not ready for school, I happily warded off the nosy strangers wondering why my four year old was at home with me still. When he decided he was ready, my plan was to let him soar with the greatness I know he is capable of. I've always believed that following his lead is the best thing I can possibly do for him -- even if letting go and stepping into the next stage of life hurts my heart. I teared up just a little bit as I walked to my car this morning, asking Carmen what in the world we should do until it's time to pick up her brother.

But the strangest thing happened at drop off today, too: it felt okay. The pit in my stomach was not there, no matter how hard I tried to seek it out. I did not have that maternal urge to fling myself over him to protect him from the (non-existent) yelling. Instead, I dropped him off into a beautiful Montessori classroom where love, kindness and warmth permeated through the air. He was immediately greeted by his kind teacher and escorted to an activity by a sweet classmate. "Okay, you can say bye now," Ethan said without looking up from the activity he and his new classmate were doing together. They were about to begin morning yoga. And then I felt it: the peace. This fit was perfect. This school felt made for Ethan, and made for our family, and nothing seemed as catastrophic as it did a few months ago.

Once we dropped Ethan off, Carmen and I went to the park. Sitting there enjoying the nice breeze with Carmen as she worked on pulling up on the equipment bars and trying to stand unassisted, I realized again just how fast it all goes. It feels like yesterday Ethan and I had years left of our free, meandering days. I know that right now it feels like Carmen and I have all of the time in the world for this freedom and stage of life, but now I know that's not true at all. I will blink and she will be starting school and it'll be an entirely different phase of life for us to navigate. Not bad, of course, but different. I like to think that I cherished every second of Ethan's time at home with me but I will make it my mission to be sure I never, ever take a moment of Carmen's time at home for granted.

 photo signature_zps5tftxxmn.png


  1. Good article, your sharing is so nice, love your work!

  2. I understand what you bring it very meaningful and useful, thanks.
    geometry dash online |

    subway surf 

  3. i like your post it was good you are doing great job keep doing good posts thanks..
    Crime Patrol

    Kundali Bhagya


  4. Hello Dude,

    I am recently followed your post. It was very unique compare to others. I am very impressed to saw your post. I am got many information. My knowledge was grown up to read your post. Thank you for sharing your knowledge here. keep doing many post.

    Also read: https://webcube360.com/features-of-ludo-king-mod-apk-you-cannot-afford-to-miss/


  5. Hello Buddy,
    I saw your post. It was really nice . I found its highly informative and knowledgeable.Thanks for sharing this post. keep going.And post more.

    Also read: ascap job

  6. An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, as you become expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It is highly helpful for me. Big thumb up for this blog post!

    Seonesia Services
    SEO Indonesia


  7. I am recently followed your post. It was very unique compare to others. I am very impressed to saw your post. I am got many information. My knowledge was grown up to read your post. Thank you for sharing your knowledge here. keep doing many post.

    also read : Best Bone Conduction Glasses


  8. Hello Buddy,
    I saw your forum post. It was really nice . I found its highly informative and knowledgeable forum post.Thanks for sharing this forum post. keep going. And post more forums.
    Also read: TekPatron

  9. Domain names need renewal every few years, and after it expires, the old owner can’t renew it. That’s why this one showed up in auctions because no one renewed the name when they should have done. click here more details : Black Friday Cyber Monday Deals

  10. Waiting for Hostinger Black Friday & Cyber Monday sale 2021? Then you are at the right place as like every year we are tracking all upcoming Hostinger promotional sales during 2021 Black Friday Sale on this page. You can bookmark this page and grab the best Hostinger Black Friday deal 2021 on the month of November, this year. Click here more details :


  11. Uttar Pradesh Government provides jobs for 08th Pass, 10th Pass, 12th Pass, Graduates, Engineers, etc. The job seekers who meet the recruitment board's eligibility criteria can apply for the UP Govt recruitments from here.
    also read : up government job vacancy

  12. Yes, Ark Survival Evolved is cross-platform for the Xbox One and Windows 10 PC versions. This means that Xbox One and Windows 10 PC players can play with each other.
    Survival Evolved is not a cross-platform game between consoles - meaning it does not work across platforms like Playstation or Xbox gaming systems. If you wish to play Ark: Survival Evolved across consoles, you need to buy the game for the console you want to play on.

    Also read: is ark cross platform?

  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

  14. Идентификация порнозвезды. Найдите имя порнозвезды или исходное видео, которое вы ищете. Разместите свое порно, и наше сообщество постарается ответить на него! Зайдите в любую онлайн-порноколлекцию (просто погуглите «порновидео», если ваш экран Google не подвергся цензуре); обычно в нижней части будут категории порно. На YouTube есть порновидео, но как найти порно на YouTube? Посмотрите наш последний гид по порно на YouTube. На YouTube легко найти порно. Нажмите здесь, чтобы узнать подробности:rusporno.club

  15. Get all information related to Perfect Money and easily transfer your money


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...