this dream fades into night

The past few days have been a whirlwind but not necessarily in a bad way. I wanted to take some time to sit and thank everyone for their kind words about my Ethan and the pedicures post. My Facebook and e-mail were blowing up with people sharing their similar stories and offering kind words, and those words meant so much to me -- as silly as that sounds. It was like a gust of humanity and goodness blowing back into my life after I felt like it was all kicked out of me. So, to everyone who shared my post, or left a kind comment or e-mail or Facebook message, thank you. It was a wonderful feeling to realize there really are some beautiful people in this world when I'm feeling totally defeated.

Yesterday was a complete switch from the day before. Beautiful weather had temporarily found South Florida, which is back to temps in the 80's again already, and Ethan and I spent our time walking. He's feeling better, though some of his red bumps did resurface today, and we're just taking it easy. Taking it easy and taking it all in and spending time isolated from the outside world to toughen up his little immune system for our pending vacation that I haven't even started to pack for. Yesterday was one of those days where, unlike the one before it, everything just started to go right. Ethan and I wrapped up a five mile walk with a drive over to the beach to put our toes in the sand, breathe in the fresh air after what feels like so many days of confinement, and collect sea shells.

The wind was crazy and the rain came in out of nowhere, but it was an afternoon that we both needed. Ten minutes after we left the beach, my husband let us know that he received a promotion at work which prompted an afternoon of baking gluten free cookies to celebrate. Ethan asked me to rock him to sleep and then proceeded to sing me the bulk of our lullabies. It was just a really good day. And I willed myself to just put everything away and go to sleep before midnight so I was only 75% exhausted by the time Ethan woke up this morning, or last night, or whatever it was still considered because today was the total opposite of yesterday.

Something I'm not very good at is taking one day at a time. If my Monday is bad, chances are I've already written the rest of the week off in my head. I'm good at pessimism. I'm good at letting one gust of wind blow over my entire house of cards. Having a child has helped fix this, a little, but not as much as I would have liked. Today was hard. But tomorrow isn't doomed. For every today, there are a million more yesterdays. Days of homemade cookies and walks in the beautiful weather and seashell-collecting strolls along the beach and "hold me please, mommy."