the most wild thing of all

Tee by The Blue Envelope

The past few weeks have been pretty difficult for our family. We've had a lot of unexpected expenses and issues pop up, some of which have felt awfully hard to tackle. I think I spent most of yesterday crying as we tried to recoup after one of our cat's emergency vet visits and her new diabetes diagnosis. Life, in turn, has been super hectic and most of our days have been filled with plans and appointments (and car accidents) and chaos. I'm fairly certain Ethan has been feeling the secondhand stress as much as I try to shield him from it all, because we've had some rough days lately. (Today has been no exception.) You know the kind of days. The ones that leave you emotionally zapped and exhausted and in tears if only you had energy enough to cry. The ones that drain you completely. The past few days, I've felt like it's impossible to even sleep because the exhaustion aches in my bones and the apprehension towards the next day causes anxiety. Yesterday I stayed up until midnight mopping my floors and, please believe, I'd rather give myself a lobotomy with a plastic spoon than spend whatever free time I do have cleaning, but stress makes you do weird things. Staying busy is as much a coping mechanism as I have.

The older Ethan gets, the more I've wrestled with how much of his everyday life is fair to share on the blog. The days of potty training and temper tantrums and cutesy infant stories that make people giggle and cringe and say "I've been there" no longer seem as appropriate the older he gets, the more little boy he gets, the more he sheds the toddler phase as he goes and grows. This little dude, he keeps me on my toes. In contrast to the weird limbo life has us in right now, that's sort of refreshing.

I've been busy planning our year of homeschool preschool and getting the lesson plans in order. My plan is to start when the public schools nearby go back to school but taking the summer off from tot school has only made us miss our classroom so much. Ethan has been begging to help me get our space situated for tot school to begin again. We're both eager. We're both ready...and something tells me we'll get started a lot sooner than anticipated. For now, forgive me if this little space gets a little quiet. Summertime and all it's accompanying chaos beckons for now.