don't worry, i'll catch you

2003

Today marks fourteen years that my husband and I have been together. Sometimes I truly do struggle to remember a time when he wasn't such a steady part in my every day, but I suppose that's understandable. After all, I'm not even 30 yet and so for just about half of my life, he's been a part of it. If I close my eyes and remember, I can still feel the teenage feelings that ran through my bones when I saw him walk down that hallway the first time, the first day of my sophomore year (his junior year). I can still feel the intensity and the love-at-first-sight-I-swear-it and the swooning and the seriousness that accompanies all feelings teenager. The rest of it is a blur. In a good way, I mean: all of our lives entwined and swirled up and permeating around us and stuck to our skin in a layer impossible to ever peel off.

Once upon a time, our biggest dilemma was how to survive the school year where I was a senior and he was away at college, a feeling of dread and excitement and impatience and hurt that could bleed you dry. That beautiful boy in the argyle socks and I went on to get married, have two beautiful children, one of whom we will never have the opportunity to raise, and get ourselves strapped in for the crazy-good adventure that is adoption. The road we've traveled has had many bumps and potholes and yet I've felt assured in having the best partner to travel through it all with.

We were married on May 23rd, 2009, but that day has since come to be Wylie's birthday. There doesn't feel like much to celebrate when your child is born into the world blue lipped and silent, and we would rather devote the day to her. January 17th is the day that my husband first asked me, on AOL Instant Messenger (Punxter36 to KissMeImEmo12, respectively) to be his girlfriend. It was the first day that a nervous sixteen year old boy promised a wreck of a fifteen year old girl forever. To us, that is worth celebrating. And so we do, and so we will, because that promise is still one that binds us together more than any marriage certificate ever could.

Today we did something we quite literally never do: we went on a date. We went out for lunch together, which is something we haven't done since Ethan was born. We went to The Cheesecake Factory (and spent a couple hours talking about Ethan, as parents do) and Ethan spent a couple of hours having a blast with my cousin and his wife.

On our one year anniversary, he gave me a card with a lyric from the Get Up Kids written at the bottom. As an adult, I had that lyric tattooed on my arm. And now, fourteen years down in this crazy life together, those lyrics still apply.

I wouldn't change anything...
...you're still my everything.