bringing home baby j: the adoption saga, update 1

I was asked on Instagram if I would provide details of our adoption progress, which I haven't done. (I haven't posted much of anything lately, which I need to rectify!)

I haven't provided details because I felt like there was nothing to report, but I guess that those small and seemingly insignificant details? Well, they count, too. While the physical progress has felt slow, especially to us impatient people desperate to bring our baby home, adoption has consumed our family. All Ethan talks about is his future "little baby brother or sister" and, admittedly, it's all that my husband and I think about, too. If I had to describe the mood around here, it would be that we all know there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and now we're just on the long, meandering path -- but the right path -- to reach it.

So far, we have selected an agency. We have decided on a domestic adoption agency based just an hour south from where we live. We received the abundance of paperwork and are chugging through it while simultaneously getting our house baby-proofed all over again and preparing for the arrival of a little one. Today in particular, we picked paint samples for the baby's room and picked up a good conduct report from our local police department, which is part of the required documentation we need to submit with the rest of the paperwork. (I also had to send away for copies of our marriage license and my birth certificate because, well, organization isn't my strongest quality. However, this entire process sure has been a lesson in organization and I'm getting there.) Our next step will be to submit the paperwork and necessary documents with payment to begin our home study (which takes around two to three months to complete) and officially become active with the agency.

Unfortunately, adoption is expensive, and this has been our biggest hang up. We are feverishly saving and have thrown pride to the wind to create a GoFundMe page that many of our loved ones have generously contributed to. I'm trying to organize whatever fundraisers I can while my husband looks into our different loan options.

Most recently, we began our online adoption certification courses, which are required prior to becoming active with the agency. We began things with a transracial adoption course which was pretty enlightening. I especially loved the tips on how to deal with rude questions and comments from strangers and the various approaches that you can take. We just received our certificate for the class yesterday that stated we passed, which seems silly but is really exciting. One more milestone to check off the long list!

Oh, and I bought a cloth diaper.

I mean, mixtapes. Was I supposed to be able to resist?

In all seriousness, we are saturated in excitement and impatience, but in the best way. There is an aura around our family -- hope, I'm guessing -- that has begun to shine again. Right now, we are busy loving a child who we don't know yet with all of our hearts. And we're busy waiting, too. You never realize just how busy waiting can make you until you begin the adoption process.

I promise to update more, both on the adoption front and in general. Life lately has been so busy and exhausting and full and consuming and, at the end of the day, my energy has tapered off beyond the point of feeling comfortable posting. The thing is, when I'm not writing, I'm not as much myself as I could (and should) be, so I'll add that to my long list of resolutions.