and every breath we ever drew was hallelujah

We had the first sneeze yesterday, at the library. I blamed the dust as the sneezes continued. Great. These things are always risky with Ethan's respiratory issues. We came home, stayed home and played it safe. The sneezes continued but the wheezing never started. (I refused to jinx it by calling it a Hanukkah miracle.) This morning, he stopped eating. The sneezes had stopped but the faucet-nose had picked up where the sneezes had left off. He winced after a solitary sip of his favorite green smoothie and that was it, I knew something was up. Hello, dread. We saw the pediatrician today who confirmed a couple of things, one good and one bad. The bad was that it was an ear infection, the good was that all of this -- the breathing treatments and the corticosteroids -- are working. His lungs were clear. Crystal clear. I solidified my Hanukkah miracle theory.

So for the first time in his life, I experienced a day with a little boy who isn't feeling quite well -- without the wheezing, the rattling, the struggling to breathe after play. It felt surreal, strange. Ethan refused food for most of the day, opting instead to tug at his ear and scream with discomfort. We made art, painted indoors (I prefer the mess over the 91 degree temperatures any day), took a warm bubblebath and read many stories. He asked to go to sleep at six o'clock.

My husband walked in the door at around eight. I'd been sitting in bed for just shy of two hours already. A sleeping baby on the monitor, a hot cup of cocoa on my nightstand. Ethan was onto something, ending today early. The past few nights I've been up until well after midnight making strides in productivity. Tonight isn't one of those nights. Today, well, today was mandatory to end at six, nothing but Who's The Boss reruns playing gently over the lullabies coming from Ethan's monitor. There were sweet potatoes that Ethan had plucked from the produce drawer dispersed on the floor, in the Christmas tree, on the couch. I didn't care. Today was over. The sweet potatoes could wait. The sand in the bathtub could wait. The dyed-blue rice that exploded from a dreidel and left a disaster scene all over our tot school room (...don't ask) could wait. Tonight, everything could wait except for my classic television reruns and my mug of cocoa and refreshing my social media accounts until my eyes felt like crossing.

In a good way, I mean all of this. Because the medicine and the treatments are working and nothing makes me feel happier, more relieved or more at peace than that. Nothing can dull the hope in my heart, not even a pesky ear infection or Ethan's snot that has crusted in my hair. Everything else isn't even worth a thought.


  1. Sorry to hear that it is an ear infection, but that's good that it isn't a respiratory issue....Also I love your mug!

    1. Thank you!

      Haha, I brought the mug back from the Warner Brothers studio tour when I was in California with my friend a few years ago! Couldn't visit California without dropping by The Big Bang Theory set!!!

  2. yay for clear lungs and boo for ear infections. poor guy put himself to bed at 6pm, i hope he is feeling better today.

    1. Thank you! He definitely is! We're excited to see you and Joey on Monday at Ethan's party!

  3. Replies
    1. Thank you! Nights off are hard to come by these days but OH SO AWESOME, haha.

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