But, no, all problems are not so easily solved. It's a rule of the universe that when a mommy is sick as a mommy can possibly be, the whole essence of life just sort of shifts. Like the fact that while I was zonked out in bed at 4 a.m. trying to rest some life back into my body, my husband watched Ethan leap out of his crib on the video monitor. Effortlessly, he tells me, despite the fact he's had no interest or even shown an attempt to do so before. It was like one night he just didn't want to be in his crib anymore and so he vacated, like he knew how all along but just couldn't be bothered. Until now. Which left me with tissues shoved up my nostrils crying about how everything was going to be horrible and no one would ever sleep again and cue the apocalypse because he's not even two years old yet and ohmygosh I don't have time to be so sick. So we attached all furniture to the wall, put locks on all of the door handles for the rooms down the hall, converted Ethan's crib into a toddler bed and waited for the worst.
But the worst didn't happen.
It turns out, he absolutely loves his big boy bed. And, more than anything, he slept the entire night. This is epic not just because it was his first night in a new bed with an easy out, but because Ethan doesn't sleep through the night. He doesn't really sleep. Naps were gone, sleep at night was broken and not without incessant, unrelenting crying and fighting. With the big boy bed, he laid his head on the pillow and went to sleep for the entire night. This afternoon, he napped for almost two hours. Tonight? You guessed it: tonight he laid there and then went to sleep like he's been doing this his whole life.
My husband and I are afraid to jinx anything. We were sure the big boy bed was a curse. I'd called Ethan's pediatrician the morning after he escaped his crib for transition advice, wanting to just beg her to forbid the change because I wasn't ready. We weren't ready. But, really, it looks like we were.
Suddenly, I have a big boy.
It's hard to believe that it's already April and that in June, Ethan will turn two. He loves telling everyone how old he's going to be -- a burst of "TWO!" with such enthusiasm that I laugh every time -- and what theme his birthday is. "George!"
If I step back, it becomes a little more apparent, all this talk of my baby becoming a big boy seemingly overnight. These days, we can have conversations with each other and it's become so commonplace that it takes me a minute to step back and realize that the days of infancy are gone. While so much stays the same -- he still asks for a second helping of vegetables each night at dinner, which he certainly didn't inherit from me -- so much manages to change. Subtle but swift changes are happening under our nose each day, every day. I blinked, and then I had a big boy. A big boy, sleeping soundly in his big boy bed inside a room still filled with the anticipation of bringing home our newborn boy.