Growing a Cuban.

This afternoon, my aunt Fran and cousin Edward came in from Pennsylvania. We're having a memorial service for my grandmother on Sunday. My aunt Fran was the last of the People To Tell Right Away about my pregnancy and I was waiting to tell her in person.

If you've never been around the Schneider half of my family (the maternal half), you probably still have your full hearing. So congratulations on that! If you have, you know the deafening sounds that come from standard Schneider conversations.

Let's just say that it's kind of a coincidence that my aunt's name is also Fran:

And let's also just say that we all must adapt by shrieking over one another. This is what Schneider's do. My best friend calls it "the Schneider shrill." Our everyday conversations? DEAFENING.

Moving on, I was trying to get a word in and thinking of the right way to drop the bomb as Fran talked about the book she was reading about France in World War II and mom kept giving me "hurry up! Now!" glares. I didn't think that the news should be shouted out as Fran ranted and raved about Nazi Germany and Adolf Hitler, but finally I had a second in. One second to get my point out there.

So I shouted: "Hey, Frannie! I'm growing a human!"

There's this perplexed look on her face. And then: "You're growing a Cuban?" Immediately, my mother and I burst into laughter that confuses her even more. "Cuban? WHAT CUBAN?" she asks, as if this was the most legitimate question in the world.

"No, Frannie. HUMAN!" "CUBAN? Who is Cuban?"

Once we explain to her that I said 'human' and not 'Cuban,' we wait for it to click. Eventually it does.

Later on, she inquires if we can go to the Cuban restaurant for lunch. I stifled a bit of a LOL inside my brain.


  1. I just saw this post. Too funny!

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