i strain my eyes and try to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites

Today was another day of firsts, only this time it's one I'm gladly leaving out of the baby book. It's one I want to run away from and forget about (even though all the seasoned pro mothers of the world are reassuring me as kindly as they can that this will happen over and over and over again without me being able to do much about it). Today was water play day at one of our mommy and me classes. We've been looking forward to water play day for some time as any moment of time spent in the water is a total gift this summer. My mom and I were both there watching Ethan sit in a few inches of water and splash around happily.

And then, despite the fact we were both sitting right there, he flipped out of the pool and onto the pavers. Forehead first. It all happened in slow motion. I can still see the entire thing in my head no matter how badly I want to rid it from my memory. The angle he fell at was just so that he was inches out of reach from where we sat. I can still hear the sound his forehead made as it collided with the pavers. I'm fairly confident I will be up all night long hearing the sound of his forehead colliding with the pavers in my mind.

Then came the screaming and crying. You know, for about five minutes. As I watched in horror and tried to ward off the conglomerate of nervous breakdown and anxiety attack I was experiencing as black and blue splotches started taking over Ethan's forehead, he pointed at the pool and wanted to go back in and play. Of course he did.

I brought him into our pediatrician just to reassure me he was fine. (He was.) His wound is all superficial and wasn't even bothering him when the doctor pushed on it to feel his head. By bedtime, the swelling went down substantially but I can still see it, the fresh wound, the huge bump rising on his forehead. I can still hear that horrible sound of head meeting pavement.

We won't even talk about the fact that a motorcyclist going at least 50 MPH over the speed limit almost ran me off of the road on the way to the pediatrician's office. Let's just say that I ended today with an iced coffee and a hot bath and I'm not even sure I'm done crying about this all yet.


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