this delicate balance

Not long ago I read a post by Nicole of The Kavanaugh Report that she wrote while guest blogging over at Growing Up Geeky. The post, seen here, was about balance -- how to find it and how, as moms, so many of us don't. (I know I don't.) I'm guilty of not cutting my hair until it's become a mangled mess that is too heavy to even throw up in my trusty bun (which in itself screams of apathy and helplessness). I don't like that I do this, the whole waiting until I'm a walking disaster to do something about it thing, but I do. Somewhere in the chaos of making sure that everyone else is fed, has clothes to wear, is sleeping well and right -- I forget about myself. I always declare "no more!" and make a firm and determined promise to myself that I'll wear make-up and look presentable at least four days a week. Baby steps. (It never happens. I always end up back in my hair stylist's chair with a frizzled, frazzled mess of hair too knotted to even run a brush through.)

The past few weeks have really gotten the best of me. Ethan has suddenly stopped sleeping just as suddenly as he began sleeping in the first place. Trying to adjust to life off of our set daily schedule has been challenging, especially when we've been having more issues with Ethan's stubborn respiratory system. The latest development has been a cough upon overexertion -- too much playing, too much laughter, too much running. We've now been adjusting to the addition of a mild corticosteroid in the mornings and evenings through his nebulizer and, basically, all of the stress and worry have been eating me alive. With balance on my mind, I attended an open house at a "holistic oasis" with one of my best friends last night. We enjoyed free samples of tea, five minutes massages and acupuncture trials (that was all her -- I chickened out!) before ending the night over delicious oversized pasta dishes at a downtown restaurant. It was a wonderful evening out and the world didn't end, the pantry wasn't stripped bare, the laundry didn't smother everyone in the house. Imagine that.

After owning up to my self-negligence (and the mom-guilt I feel when I spend these three seconds contemplating my own self instead of my husband or my child), I really mean it when I declare "no more!" this time around. I need to find the balance in my own life and make time for myself, even if it's just throwing on some lipgloss and mascara before shuffling out the door in the morning. Today was my first step in the right direction: a haircut exactly eight weeks after my last one. You know, like you're supposed to. It felt so good to shed the straggly, mangled hair that had found itself shoved up in that old I'm-too-lazy-for-anything-else bun.

After an hour first thing this morning having my poor hair saved by my wonderful stylist, I was still able to finish grocery shopping and have lunch on the table for all three of us by the time Ethan woke up from his nap.

Balance. It's a beautiful thing.

I'm trying really hard to get the hang of it.