The thought of having another child is less daunting than it was at one point. Maybe it's that time makes us forget the not so good stuff, but maybe also because now that I know I kind of get the whole motherhood thing, things aren't as scary as they once seemed when it all was new. As excited as I am to one day add another baby to the mix, I admittedly have items I want to check off my Before Baby #2 Bucket List. (Spare the speech about accidents and best laid plans, I get it, I do.)
This includes exercising every night and getting into a fitness routine that sticks. I did Body Back and it ruled, but then I let myself kind of get off track a little bit once it ended. We live in a beautiful neighborhood surrounded by an amazing walking path and I totally don't take advantage of it enough. Instead of hopping into my car and heading to Target at nine at night because I need to get out of the house and driving right past all of the happy walkers and joggers, I want to get into the swing of utilizing this time to stay active. I'm on my third consecutive day of walking/jogging/running a couple of miles every evening and I'd like to keep this up for at least a few months until it becomes a regular and set part of my evening without the temptation to just quit.
I also want another tattoo. I have one in mind that I would like to get, for me, before it's time to buckle down and do the whole pregnancy thing again. I'm at that point where I think about it and my eyes tear up all sentimentally so, really, sooner than later, I'm guessing.
I also want to get used to this whole feeling human thing. I'm at the point where I'll try on clothing at a store and even like it and can somewhat balance doing my hair and make-up with Ethan's sleep (or lack thereof) schedule. I want to enjoy this for a little while, as selfish and superficial as it may sound. I'm cool with chaos and messy hair, but I want some time to enjoy this brief period of smooth sailing. It's nice to be able to grab a coffee with some mom friends one night and find the time to shower and set up our tot school activities without finding myself cuddled up in the corner crying. I just want to live the "I've got this" for a little while longer until it becomes boring and I invite more, welcomed chaos into our world.
I also want to wean from caffeine. I know there are strong opinions about caffeine consumption during pregnancy but I'm one of those people who plays it safe and cuts it all out, completely. I'm also a huge coffee drinker. Right before we started trying to conceive with Ethan, I cut out caffeine cold turkey. It was miserable. I had migraines and withdrawals and was a nightmare to be around (let alone to be). I promised to slow down my coffee intake once Ethan came along but that didn't happen and I'm probably drinking even more than before. I would like to slowly wean myself off of such a drastic caffeine intake, slowly, as pleasantly as possible -- and right now I'm still in the thick of requiring my grande latte each morning. Maybe I'll start making them a tall instead. You know, baby steps.
I do worry sometimes that having a second child won't be as easy as it was the first time around with Ethan when we all but blinked and discovered I was pregnant. I almost expect things to be a little trickier this time, for whatever reason, but part of me wants to just enjoy the journey. My husband and I are in an intense debate about how many children we want and part of me realizes that a second baby, well, could be the last. I had a hard time with my pregnancy with Ethan and just want to make sure I do it right this time, as right as I possibly can, and feel like I'm ready for all that a new baby can possibly bring. But I am ready to feverishly start checking things off of my bucket list while still remaining a little bit patient. I know whenever it does happen, it will be the best time for our family.