the one with the eye

Sometimes you will live in Southeast Florida in the suburbs surrounding the Florida Everglades where Mosquitos are an everyday nuisance. It would only make sense that then your child winds up allergic to Mosquito bites. And sometimes Benadryl and one percent hydro-cortisone creams and hard, swollen welts aren't enough fun for one day so a particularly annoying Mosquito takes it upon itself to sting your child on the eyelid on the twelve step walk from the car into your garage. Sometimes this one bite in particular will be just enough to cause a cellular infection in the skin around your child's eye so they wake up for you to find their eye nearly welded shut.

Sometimes this will happen within minutes of your dentist appointment. This means you get to sit in the dental chair shvitzing about having to do your every-three-years dental x-rays while neurotically checking your phone to see if your husband and child have made it to the pediatrician and, if so, what is happening with his swollen eye. The dentist will then likely tell you that your never had a cavity streak has ended at the ripe old age of 27 and, for fun, you've got two cavities to kick off this momentous occasion.

Later that night while your child is freaking out about "booboo on eyebrow," a picture frame being stored in his closet will shatter onto the wood floor. As you're trying to clean up the shards without further incident, you will hear another shatter come from down the hallway. Of course, your two year old will decide this is a splendid time to climb up on the table and select a glass to feed the cats with.

Sometimes you will cry a lot and silently curse the bottle of Benadryl and antibiotic because your two year old no longer believes they are magical cake juice and he refuses to take them.

Sometimes 9 o'clock seems like a perfectly decent bedtime.