9.16.2011

i hope that everybody can find a little flame


These past few days have been interesting at best. I haven't been feeling well and have tapped into that "inner mom-strength" that I never knew I had until I needed it. I've been wishing my stomach cramps away, popping Motrin and drowning myself in hot cocoa while still trying to juggle an infant and those errands that just can't wait any longer.

I haven't exactly excelled at this juggling act as cleaning our house has fallen by the wayside and I'm starting to feel a bit anxious about the ever-expanding piles of clutter and laundry. I'm sure there are Super Moms who manage to get it all done while standing on death's doorstep but I most certainly haven't reached Super Mom status yet. I'm mostly impressed by the fact that I have any "inner-mom strength" at all and that it warranted me the power to grocery shop and make dinner tonight when my body just wanted to crumble to the floor. I never thought I'd be a contender for anything with "strength" in the title but motherhood is just so full of surprises.

Though today was filled with a lot more cuddling on the couch or snuggling up in bed with storybooks than normal, Ethan didn't seem to mind. He took two of his three naps today curled up on my chest with my hair tangled through his fingers and despite all of the Motrin and hot drinks and even hotter showers, that proved to be the best medicine of all.

It was the least I could do, tapping into my "inner mom-strength", to make sure that Ethan and I still got to share our early evening dances to our favorite Pandora stations even though I stepped on a piece of glass and tried not to cry as I watched little droplets of red blood paint the tile with every step I took. Goodnight Elisabeth played on and Ethan rested his head on my shoulder and, again, his love was the best medicine of all.


I understood then where moms draw that inner-strength from and it is most certainly not from ourselves. Mine is just another endless gift from my beautiful little boy with his unruly hair and slate blue eyes who is able to bestow the utmost levels of peace and love onto my world by letting me hold him close. I never really understood the concept of finding strength in someone else or how one could be given strength by another until the moment he was placed into my arms. His very existence has given me the strength to do things and live through things I never thought I would be able to do or live through. There is just something about his soft breath on my cheek that makes me feel like I'm capable of invincibility and nothing short of it.



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3 comments:

  1. You are doing awesome. So proud of you. And he is soo cute! The first picture with his hands clasped. Soo cute.

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  2. Hello! I'm a new follower and would love it if you could follow me back!

    have a fantastic weekend :)

    http://www.ifonlylifecouldbethatsimple.blogspot.com/

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  3. Stopping by from the blog hop and now following you on GFC and Facebook. I would so love a follow back on both when you get a chance. Just take slow baby steps and one day you will find out you don't notice it anymore. I have Fibromyalgia and have had to learn to live like that. It helps to not plan anything and to live in the moment. Right now your time is caught up in his time but that too will find a way to even out. Cherish these times because once he starts school you will wish you had them back. Take care and learn to take naps when he does so you will have the energy. The house can wait, your health cannot. And he needs you to be bright eyed and bushy tailed! So, don't feel bad, take the time to nap with him and that is where you will find that you feel better. There is no such thing as a supermom except the rich that have nannies and maids! Have a great day!

    Mary@http://www.mmbearcupoftea.com

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