now i see clearly it’s you i’m looking for, all of my days

Oh, my sweet Ethan. Today you got a haircut. Perhaps your 7th? 8th, maybe? It's hard to keep up. You've inherited your mom's unruly, wavy hair that just won't stop growing. You were getting a little shaggy (and by that I mean you were totally getting a baby mullet). It was time.

You never mind the hair salon. Everyone makes a big fuss over how cute you are while you soak it all up. More than the attention, they have the big, puffy chairs that you love to sit on. You request to sit on each chair individually. Hop off one, climb up onto the next.

You look so handsome after your haircut. No more baby mullet, no more sideburns growing halfway down your cheeks. In addition to just being handsome, it's hard not to notice that today you look so old. There's no hiding that you are growing up before my eyes, quicker than I am prepared to deal with. You are a little boy now with opinions and favorites and dislikes. This week you've discovered your temper and, oh boy, do you know how to use it. But for what I get in frustrated grunts and balled fists, you make up for in great big hugs.

These past few days, it's been just you and I. Mommy and Ethan. Just the two of us. Daddy has been working around the clock and you and I have tried our best to figure out our own routine. It's been difficult but we've made up for it through Jamba Juice smoothies and fingerpainting messes and living room dance parties and dipping graham crackers in applesauce even though dinner is almost ready.

You tell me what you want and when you want it: when you want to go outdoors, when you want a snack, when you want to go night-night. Every new day is a new sign that you're no longer a baby but instead my sweet, sweet boy.

Sometimes I frighten myself with how little I know about raising a son but through your great big hugs you provide me the reassurance that so far I'm doing an okay job. We laugh all the time together, you and I, and I know that you're happy. I know that you know I love you, though you'll never be able to imagine how much. Each day is as much a learning experience for me as it is for you; something that no book or blog or website can prepare you for no matter how dedicated and feverish your research.

My greatest hope is that one day you will be half as proud of me as I already am of you. I love you more than you love dogs...and we both know that's an awful lot.